I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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