i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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