dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
