omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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