I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
