make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
