You're my little dorito
I have demons in me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
