So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
