I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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