TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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