I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
