Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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