it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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