now i know why i became what i already was.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
