i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
