don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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