in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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