Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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