i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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