this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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