My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
