I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
