the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
