Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
