Who did Billy Mays play for?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
