First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
