yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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