we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
