i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
