You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
