Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
