It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
