She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
