We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
