We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
