Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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