i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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