I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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