Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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