Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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