what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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