The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
