It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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