I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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