I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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