Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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