PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
