There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
