sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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