My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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